Tag: harmony

The Journey With Black Thongs

A tale in demonstrating how “gold nuggets” exist within situations where things don’t go as planned or as intended and how this can include inspiration to write this very blog. We simply need to make a choice within to discover these gold nuggets.

By the way, for those of you not familiar with Australian terms of references, “thongs” are footwear, slippers or what some would call flip flops, well,  in contrast to that reference being used for underwear (G-Strings). 🙂

The Preamble

Of late I have been plagued with a range of hip and back issues which seemed to be caused by spinal misalignment and tight muscles. The long term solution was to incorporate more natural movement into my routines, and this would include long walks, hiking, etc, However, I have proven to be quite good at self sabotaging my grand plans with these activities, resulting in zero walks or hikes.

The Universe Acts

The “powers that be” set the stage for me to inadvertently do what I’ve been short-changing myself on

The car was scheduled for the workshop this morning. My grand plan was to chuck the bicycle into the car, drop the car off and cycle back home. It will be good to mention that, despite having purchased this bike two years ago, I’ve only even used it once … duhh !

So I pulled it out, dusted it out and discovered flat tyres (but of course). Would you believe, out of four air pumps (including an air compressor with a blown fuse) none of these bloody worked in my effort to inflate the tyres.

Hmmmm, its a message me thinks, not meant to be. Well, the workshop has in the past got someone to send me back. So off I go.

But, it would seem this time the workshop had no one immediately available to drop me off and I’d have to wait quite a while if it were to happen.

What to do me thinks …. a gentle voice in my head tells me, “Hey ! walk back”. Its a 3km distance to back home. That really is not that far to walk but gosh I can’t recall the last time I had walked 3km. I realise I am wearing a pair of black thongs not shoes. Bummer, shoes would be better for a 3 km walk home versus thongs.

Discoveries Of The Journey

Ok shit happens, but let’s see what comes out of this, my mind goes, its gonna be good.

My personal philosophy is that no matter what life throws us, what we are called to do instead, is to embrace the experience, and consider that, its within this space of that experience that we discover the essence of what we can now create instead

As I start the walk, and as the body starts to move with the gait, my attention is drawn to stiffness and slight pain in various parts. It may good to point out here that I’m a certified Personal Trainer, though I have not been doing myself much favours with the benefit of that skillset .. go figure LOL !

I direct my mindfulness to the movement and positioning of the hips, readjust my posture. Then checking how my torso and shoulders are moving in comparison and their relative positioning, posture. I started observing how the “hinge points” in the body behaved, from the hip to knees to ankles. How was I moving ? What did I need to shift ? How did I need to move instead ?

I pay attention to my breathing, where was I breathing from ? Was I allowing for the appropriate thoracic expansion ?

Eventually my body started moving more fluidly, the pain and stiffness subsided. I tell myself, damn ! This was what I needed to be doing more of … duhh !

Shit needed happen first 🙂

Within the journey, it was fun too observing the surroundings, gardens, ponds, ducks, vegetation. I even brought myself to venture in a park where I used to once take my doggie for walks. I rarely went there anymore since she died two years ago, there was no need, too many memories.

The Outcome

I had a CHOICE as to how to react to this situation. I did so in the manner I have trained myself to over the years … “What Can I Make Out Of This ?”

I enjoyed that walk, I am glad it happened. It presented the much needed opportunity for me to discover more how my body moved (needed to move) and acceptance into what I need to do more. It served to interrupt the pattern of self sabotage and potentially set the stage for alternative behaviors.

The black thongs held up, I don’t believe they had ever done that much mileage at one go.

I love this part …. I have not written a blog for quite a while now and in the 30 minutes it took me to reach home, the “grey matter” worked out how this blog would read and here it is.

So what’s the lesson here ?

My view of pain in the body is one way Life / the Universe tells us that we are not doing what we need to be doing. And when we continue not to adhere, other situations / obstacles can be thrown in our path as a nudge, a reminder. Resultingly things can get worse and as humans, we are extremely good at consequently reacting in unbeneficial ways, often framing the situations in the worst possible manner, which needless to say makes our reality of the situation even more undesirable.

It is our thoughts, the inner narrative that ultimately determines the reality of our experiences

We just need to become mindful of these signs and nudges, listen, pay attention. Challenge yourself, in what you consider undesirable situations. Ask yourself ;

    • If there exists some benefit from this, what would that be ?
    • If me reacting differently could benefit the situation, how would I do that ?
    • If there’s a bigger picture beyond what I’d usually see, what could that be ?
    • If there’s a hidden message here, what would that be ?

Lastly consider again, regardless of the situation, what we are simply being led into is the “experience”. It does not matter what the experience is about. When your focus and self-challenge is on what you can take out from that experience, what you can create out of it, then the magic of growth happens.

Death !! One Person’s View

The Gist Of This Blog

How do you view death ? How relevant is the “post death” process for the deceased ? Would it perhaps be more for the living instead ?

In that regard, below is an extract of an email I sent to members of my family back in November 2019 titled “In The Event Of My Death” which I’d like to share.

A caution, this may ruffle the value and belief systems of some readers, its raw and direct.

The Usual Preamble

A chat this morning with a friend who was dealing with the passing of a loved one prompted me to write this. Well, to note too, the passing of my mum just four days ago probably added on to this prompt.

Those who know me well enough, will know that I am spiritual not religious (well, no longer) and too, pragmatic plus down to earth in me dealing with life’s challenges.

I’ve evolved from being a person who was hyper sensitive to what others thought of me, rather insecure, one who struggled to consider the views of others, patterned with rigid thinking from my formative years and too from that of being an Accountant for 30 plus years ……. well, to now, a Transformational Therapist who works with people (too, with similar journeys) helping them become better and newer versions of themselves, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually.

My views on life now are not necessarily what they used to be from years yonder and I have no doubt, my views as such will evolve further to other levels in the years to come.

The email extract referred to, naturally represents my take on the subject of death and related processes. My intention here is NOT to play down the values and beliefs of others, but simply to bring to a conscious awareness, alternative perspectives and insights as to why we may act the way we do, well that is if its not already evident enough.

At time of writing this blog, its April 2020.

But Before That

A relative once told me, if I come into some money, I will use it to do up a grand headstone on my dad’s grave. He went on to say that he made a promise to his dad (after his passing) that this is what he would do and that he felt his late dad would appreciate it. Too, that its a promise he should uphold.

Well, my mind went, hmmmmmm !!

I view the deceased as no longer holding the level of consciousness that we the living possess, which encompasses amongst others, opinions, expectations and emotions, especially the unhelpful ones.

Instead, I view the deceased as having connected back to a level of consciousness that is pure energy, cosmic in nature, where there is an absence of emotions, judgement, expectations etc. and hence do not “think” and “behave” as the living do.

I dare say they represent “pure love”. Consider ;

Would it matter to the deceased if there was a grand headstone or not?

Would they frown upon the living if that “promise” was not upheld ?

Would they now hold the living accountable ?

Perhaps, consider that this relative needed to go through a process that was vital to him getting closure and coming into harmony with his dad’s passing, related issues as well as coming into harmony with his own limiting patterns, emotions and triggers.

Now, I’m not suggesting otherwise with the headstone, by all means do it if need be. However I feel its important to bring into perspective (and a conscious awareness) why we do what we do and the reasons for it.

OK, Here Is The Email Extract

Recent deaths amongst families of friends have triggered these thoughts in me, which I have been wanting to say for a long time now, hence I might as well. 

In the event of my death …. Well, not that I see myself dying soon, in fact I plan to live for a long long time more.

… But, in the event of my death ;

  • Cremate me
  • Ashes .. well, it really does not matter to me, I am dead, let the crematorium dispose of it
  • Unless any of you want to do something else with it. But don’t do it for me, only if it helps you in dealing with the process / remembrance
  • Flowers, for yourselves and please tell people, PLEASE DON’T WASTE MONEY on that. I suggest that they can choose to contribute the $$ towards funeral expenses
  • I’m dead, I don’t give a shit about if there are flowers or not. It’s the florists that will benefit from it
  • Coffin – don’t waste money getting fancy stuff. Be practical, its going to be burnt anyway
  • Church funeral ? … don’t bother ! While my faith in God (incl Jesus, Mother Mary, etc.) is the strongest its ever been and will continue to reach new levels by the time I’m gone ….. I no longer subscribe to the doctrines of the church. It’s a man-made framework /attempt to understand and interpret the Divine and its incomplete and filled with what I see as un-useful traditions, rituals and symbolism and too some untruths. Well, in saying that, there is much truth and essence too therein … but its no longer the “book” I go by.
  • Do what’s convenient otherwise for you, this whole post-death process as I see it, is really to cater for the grieving process of the living, and not to mention social conventions
  • Really … you don’t have to pray for my soul or have any special blessings or ceremony. There is no substance or necessity in that as I see it. The moment I leave this physical body, the Soul / Spirit becomes part of the collective cosmic force and too, on a pre-determined direction
  • No amount of praying / ceremony / rituals nor the absence of it is going to make a difference. Which is one reason why I don’t resonate with the phrase “Rest In Peace”. The soul moves on to a new purpose, there is no need to rest, it is already in peace.
  • If you want / need to do something, do it for yourself as part of your process in remembering me
  • If any of you feel sorry for me in my passing, please don’t !!. While I understand the living will have go thru their own respective grieving process, its natural. I’d rather be remembered for the life I lived, not the death I died, if that makes sense. But then again, I’m dead !. I guess it does not matter to me
  • The Spirit moves on and no longer holds onto the conscious patterns common to the living. It’s a whole new ball game. So really, you don’t have to worry / not worry, i.e. how I may or may not think / react post death. The Spirit does not think and behave as the living do. The Spirit in fact vibrates at the same frequency as that of God (i.e. LOVE). Hence there exists no form of judgment or opinions from the deceased. It’s the living that tend to bring that into play, in an effort to process the passing and to get some degree of closure.

Finding Harmony Within Aversions In Life

My writing about my life experiences is in a way an avenue for my own self healing / clearing and too, in presenting to readers who may connect with what I have to say in regards to their own respective life journeys.

I’ll start here by relating on aspects of stuff in my life that I had impactful aversions to, and further to the insights as to why this was so and where I am now finding harmony with this, 40 years down the road.

Its a path of reconciliation of sorts, coming face to face with unwanted patterns and conditioning of old, recognizing them, understanding why they were there, with regards the role they played, acknowledging this and coming to terms that I no longer have to hold on to these. And in doing this, I set the stage to free up my mind and energies to move forward lighter and also to look back and discover the beauty and harmony that actually existed within that I was once averse to.

If you relate to what I’ve just mentioned, consider where in your life, do you see this play out in your own and what can you do henceforth to set your own stage for transformation.

What I’ve written here is something that I’ve always kept to myself and not even the people closest in my life are probably fully aware of this, Well its out now. 🙂

My Origins

I currently live in Perth, Australia, but I originated from Malaysia. I am Indian by race and I am what I’d term as a 3rd generation “Malaysian Indian”, on the basis of my great grandmother emigrating from South India to Malaysia. While Tamil was my mother tongue, I grew up with English as my main language. I myself though have never been to India, well one day I will. 🙂

Culturally and behaviorally, I see (well my view at least) a difference or distinction between the Indians born and bred in Malaysia in contrast to those in motherland India. For that reason too I’ve never quite identified myself with the ethnic cultures and dispositions of those from motherland India. That world as I then viewed it was a case of “Us” and “Them”. Even for that matter, as you’ll discover below, I also never quite fully identified myself with the ethnic cultures and dispositions of Malaysian Indians as well.

The Aversions

Up towards my teens and into my adult life, I found myself being quite averse to aspects of Indian culture and really “anything Indian”. I won’t say it was so in total, but it was significant enough.

Strange one would say, given that is my heritage.

I had this intense dislike for Bollywood movies, especially Tamil movies. With Hindustani movies however, somehow that seemed more tolerable, but still definitely not my cup of tea. And given Bollywood movies and songs go hand in hand, the same aversion existed within me for Tamil and Hindustani songs, here too with me being a little more tolerable towards some Hindustani songs.

These movies (and culture) for me were a representation of “too much drama”. Well those who watch Bollywood movies will know what I mean (well maybe some of you). To me the “drama” in these movies represented and portrayed a host of negativity, sorrow, pent up anger, narrow minded mentality and focus, glass half empty attitude, etc. Hang on one would say, there is beauty, harmony and joy in the songs and the dancing, well sadly I never saw that or related to it.

For me, all of this was in fact anchoring to the “drama” I observed in real life around me, family, friends and especially in general within the Malaysian Indian community. The intense dislike for Tamil movies came from this and my “over exposure” to it growing up as a kid.

I saw the Indian community in Malaysia as taking on the aspect of  “Life Imitating Art”. A lot of them seemed to emulate the unhelpful “drama” of these movies into their daily life and this was in turn projected onto people they interacted with. I truly believed that absent the influence (“drama”) of Bollywood movies, the Malaysian Indian community in general would possess a greater degree of consciousness.

I never quite resonated with the mindset, character, temperament (looking for the right phrase ..LOL ) of the typical Malaysian Indian and in particular that of the typical Indian male. I just never fully jived with it and with the associated bravado.

I’d like to emphasize here that I do not intend any disrespect or disregard to any persons or aspects of communities mentioned. What is being related here is my story, as a result of my own experiences and conditioning … read on.

So here I am painting multi aspects of the Indian community with the same broad brush and strokes. Nice one Tony !! 🙂

It can be said that my perception at that time was rather biased, somewhat judgmental, negative. All of this was however based on my clouded internal perception of “anything Indian”. Looking back it was due to my own insecurities and selective filtering, generalization of reality out there, resulting in my own selective reality based on my experiences of my life then.

As A Result

The consequence of my mindset, my self denial stifled my energy. I indirectly placed self impositions on what I can and can’t enjoy in life, where and how I should have  fun. Because I placed rules on what I can and cannot like, I inadvertently placed blocks on the joy of life flowing through me.

You know, one would never ever catch me dead wearing traditional Indian menswear. There was no way in hell you’d get me into one of those. Well, hang on, I may have once, dunno, its a faded / vague distant memory. Again, this is the result of the internal representation I had created in my head about “anything Indian”.

These days I am more comfortable in admitting and saying, without fear or favour that I never really liked my childhood, I did not enjoy it. I also don’t recall much of it, and where I do, its about things that I disliked about myself and what it represent in regards to that I wish I was not, or could have been instead.

In essence its not so much about what the external world projected onto that little boy, but more the meanings and the representations that little boy choose to take on as his belief systems and his reality.

But I have since, especially in recent years come (learnt) to sit in harmony with that little boy within.

There was a time when I left the family home, living and working in other towns (well, cities really). For me it was a time away from all these. Even still I’d literally & physically cringe if I were to walk into a situation where there was a Tamil movie playing and / or similar real life situations.

But it was not all 100% aversion. There were some old Tamil songs that I liked, the same with Hindustani songs and a couple of Hindustani movies (who recalls “Bobby” with Dimple Kapadia and Rishi Kapoor 🙂). But in the style of self-denial, aspects of me would never admit or acknowledge this, while secretly having a fondness. Ahahaha !! A representation of the many opposing conflicts within my life then.

The first three girls that I courted were strangely and in contrast, .. guess what ?  Ahahaha …. Indian !!! would you believe ?? 🙂 🙂 But then I found myself being pulled towards girls who were non-Indian. The pattern was playing out and my attractions diverted to females who were non-Indian. That was the case for subsequent girlfriends (not that I had many or I was playboy like .. Gosh !! the truth being far far from it 🙂 🙂) and my eventual marriage to a non-Indian. That in itself tells a story huh ?

Digressing a little, I held within me huge insecurities about me and the opposite sex. This was in relation my insecure take on their likely perception of me, my interaction with them and / or my concept of the opposite sex ever finding me attractive enough. Aspects of these core insecurities exists still today .. well that’s a story for a another blog and how I overcame it and how I continue to mop up the residual.

Now

Fast forward to present time and my journey of awakening and growing in consciousness and spirituality. Its been a long “tooth and nail” path of transformation to where I am today. Do have a read of my blog titled “Finding My Inner Radiance“ for more “juicy insights”.

I now consciously experience wave after wave of shifts both in the cognitive and spiritual sense.  But just when I feel I’ve reached a stable platform, something else, some gunk, is unearthed within for me to come face to face with. And when I learn to sit in harmony with these, I am then transformed and raised to another platform of being.

These days, I look forward to the “gunk” in my life surfacing, for its within these lie the answers and keys to my path henceforth. It frees my energies for me to engage more effectively in fulfilling my Life Purpose, the reason I came to this planet.

Today and in recent years I find myself becoming more in harmony with these aversions of past and my views of “anything Indian”, and this is the result of my progression in clearing away layers and layers of insecurities, unwanted patterns, conditioning and belief systems. I find myself now attempting to reconnect to my roots, my heritage in a new light and with a fresh set of eyes and perspective. Where this will take me, I do not know, but its a good thing.

These days, while I still don’t have any inclination to watch Bollywood movies, I find myself looking back in fondness at some of the songs of old and discovering the beauty and light in these and in others too . With regards my aversions of “anything Indian”, I nowadays find myself more accepting and in flow with it. I am now able to catch myself in the act  of any past patterns and have a conversation with myself as to why it is so, and what I can do to change it.

Of late I found myself waking up in the morning with some of these songs stuck in my head or finding myself spontaneously bursting into song with these, humming as I go about my day (Damn !! feels like me in a Bollywood movie ehh, bursting into song  ? .. Ahahaha !!). 🙂 🙂

Today was one of those days and I even did my gym workout listening to tracks of Hindustani songs .. LOL ! .. Gosh !! OMG !! What’s happening to me ! … hee hee !! 🙂 Well, it inspired me to write this blog out.

I leave you with this Hindustani clip “SAY SHAVA SHAVA” below. Compared to other songs this was kind of in the “acceptable” list for the me of the past. But as a result of my past internal perceptions it would have been uncomfortable for me to sit and watch the video in full .. e.g. the whole group dancing, party concept etc, amongst other things.

I guess some of you must be by now scratching your head and going .. but why ? Hmmm ! The power and impact of subconscious patterning. 🙂

I now am able to enjoy listening to this and more significantly so, am able to watch the “antics” 🙂 with greater sense of internal authenticity, acceptance and in harmony …. a stark contrast to even the me of even a couple of years ago, leave aside the me of old (not sure yet how I’ll fare with Tamil clips … watch this space). 🙂

I’ve come one step more towards sitting in harmony with things that I once dissociated with. Consider, that the things we fear, dislike or have aversions with are the very things that we’d need to face, find harmony with for our ongoing spiritual and cognitive growth.

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Blessings to you !

Song and Video Credits And Acknowledgements
P/S : If the video above buffers too much, do click on the You Tube link below

You Tube Clip – SonyMusicIndiaVEVO
Song Name – Say Shava Shava
Movie – Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
Singer – Sudesh Bhosle, Alka Yagnik, Sunidhi Chauhan, Amitabh Bachchan, Aadesh Shrivastava & Udit Narayan
Lyrics – Sameer Anjaan Music – Aadesh Shrivastava
Director – Karan Johar
Studio – Dharma Productions
Producer – Yash Johar
Music Label – Sony Music Entertainment India Pvt. Ltd.