Death !! One Person’s View

The Gist Of This Blog

How do you view death ? How relevant is the “post death” process for the deceased ? Would it perhaps be more for the living instead ?

In that regard, below is an extract of an email I sent to members of my family back in November 2019 titled “In The Event Of My Death” which I’d like to share.

A caution, this may ruffle the value and belief systems of some readers, its raw and direct.

The Usual Preamble

A chat this morning with a friend who was dealing with the passing of a loved one prompted me to write this. Well, to note too, the passing of my mum just four days ago probably added on to this prompt.

Those who know me well enough, will know that I am spiritual not religious (well, no longer) and too, pragmatic plus down to earth in me dealing with life’s challenges.

I’ve evolved from being a person who was hyper sensitive to what others thought of me, rather insecure, one who struggled to consider the views of others, patterned with rigid thinking from my formative years and too from that of being an Accountant for 30 plus years ……. well, to now, a Transformational Therapist who works with people (too, with similar journeys) helping them become better and newer versions of themselves, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually.

My views on life now are not necessarily what they used to be from years yonder and I have no doubt, my views as such will evolve further to other levels in the years to come.

The email extract referred to, naturally represents my take on the subject of death and related processes. My intention here is NOT to play down the values and beliefs of others, but simply to bring to a conscious awareness, alternative perspectives and insights as to why we may act the way we do, well that is if its not already evident enough.

At time of writing this blog, its April 2020.

But Before That

A relative once told me, if I come into some money, I will use it to do up a grand headstone on my dad’s grave. He went on to say that he made a promise to his dad (after his passing) that this is what he would do and that he felt his late dad would appreciate it. Too, that its a promise he should uphold.

Well, my mind went, hmmmmmm !!

I view the deceased as no longer holding the level of consciousness that we the living possess, which encompasses amongst others, opinions, expectations and emotions, especially the unhelpful ones.

Instead, I view the deceased as having connected back to a level of consciousness that is pure energy, cosmic in nature, where there is an absence of emotions, judgement, expectations etc. and hence do not “think” and “behave” as the living do.

I dare say they represent “pure love”. Consider ;

Would it matter to the deceased if there was a grand headstone or not?

Would they frown upon the living if that “promise” was not upheld ?

Would they now hold the living accountable ?

Perhaps, consider that this relative needed to go through a process that was vital to him getting closure and coming into harmony with his dad’s passing, related issues as well as coming into harmony with his own limiting patterns, emotions and triggers.

Now, I’m not suggesting otherwise with the headstone, by all means do it if need be. However I feel its important to bring into perspective (and a conscious awareness) why we do what we do and the reasons for it.

OK, Here Is The Email Extract

Recent deaths amongst families of friends have triggered these thoughts in me, which I have been wanting to say for a long time now, hence I might as well. 

In the event of my death …. Well, not that I see myself dying soon, in fact I plan to live for a long long time more.

… But, in the event of my death ;

• Cremate me
• Ashes .. well, it really does not matter to me, I am dead, let the crematorium dispose of it
• Unless any of you want to do something else with it. But don’t do it for me, only if it helps you in dealing with the process / remembrance
• Flowers, for yourselves and please tell people, PLEASE DON’T WASTE MONEY on that. I suggest that they can choose to contribute the $$ towards funeral expenses
• I’m dead, I don’t give a shit about if there are flowers or not. It’s the florists that will benefit from it
• Coffin – don’t waste money getting fancy stuff. Be practical, its going to be burnt anyway
• Church funeral ? … don’t bother ! While my faith in God (incl Jesus, Mother Mary, etc.) is the strongest its ever been and will continue to reach new levels by the time I’m gone ….. I no longer subscribe to the doctrines of the church. It’s a man-made framework /attempt to understand and interpret the Divine and its incomplete and filled with what I see as un-useful traditions, rituals and symbolism and too some untruths. Well, in saying that, there is much truth and essence too therein … but its no longer the “book” I go by.
• Do what’s convenient otherwise for you, this whole post-death process as I see it, is really to cater for the grieving process of the living, and not to mention social conventions
• Really … you don’t have to pray for my soul or have any special blessings or ceremony. There is no substance or necessity in that as I see it. The moment I leave this physical body, the Soul / Spirit becomes part of the collective cosmic force and too, on a pre-determined direction
• No amount of praying / ceremony / rituals nor the absence of it is going to make a difference. Which is one reason why I don’t resonate with the phrase “Rest In Peace”. The soul moves on to a new purpose, there is no need to rest, it is already in peace.
• If you want / need to do something, do it for yourself as part of your process in remembering me
• If any of you feel sorry for me in my passing, please don’t !!. While I understand the living will have go thru their own respective grieving process, its natural. I’d rather be remembered for the life I lived, not the death I died, if that makes sense. But then again, I’m dead !. I guess it does not matter to me
• The Spirit moves on and no longer holds onto the conscious patterns common to the living. It’s a whole new ball game. So really, you don’t have to worry / not worry, i.e. how I may or may not think / react post death. The Spirit does not think and behave as the living do. The Spirit in fact vibrates at the same frequency as that of God (i.e. LOVE). Hence there exists no form of judgment or opinions from the deceased. It’s the living that tend to bring that into play, in an effort to process the passing and to get some degree of closure.

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