A story of allowing oneself the awareness to feel into limiting inner patterns … all towards letting that become the platform in enabling us to take that one extra step forward into new growth.
Its my Birthday today ! 🤗 … And today, I inadvertently gave myself one of the better presents I’ve given myself through me just listening to that inner voice. 🙌
I’m not one for big celebrations but instead tend to become more the introvert, shying away and going within on my birthday. Over recent years I have also learnt to become more “comfortable” in being more “selfish” in how I choose to honour this day versus me feeling the need to oblige towards how the family would like to celebrate with / for me.
Something Happens Unintended
The words that came to mind was “Sad Child” …. and from nowhere, I stated to feel emotional and tears started welling up on my eyes
This year, I decided to spend the 1st half of the day in quiet time, in quiet reflection at the beach. This entailed a long beach walk, reading a good book (Birthing a New Reality by ChristinA Ritchie – highly recommended) 👍 plus some meditative time with inner reflection … and naturally complete with my smoothies and coffee. 😅
Now, I have been sporting a right shoulder pain for a few months. Its related to the shoulder complex and instability within the scapula. But I have sensed for a while, the main contributing factor was more energetical but had little success with resolve.
As I gave myself the time to “just be” today and allowed myself to go within, sitting on the beach, questions were put to my inner self as to what the deal was with the shoulder. Then the answers started flowing in intuitively ;
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- Was this primarily a physical related issue ? … No
- Was it more of a Mental or Spiritual nature ? … No
- Was it an Emotionally related matter … Yes
- Could you show me what this is about ? … Bang, it happened !!!
The words that came to mind was “Sad Child” …. and from nowhere, I suddenly started to feel emotional and tears started welling up on my eyes … Interesting, my conscious mind ponders 🤔.
I’m always applying therapeutical work on myself and over time have gone in deep and addressed a lot of issues going back to childhood, in the womb and even too at my own conception (a story for another day that ). But there are always layers upon layers, and these take time.
The message that came thru was, yes we have done the work, but we were still somehow holding on to the “sad child” within and that it was now time to let him go, he has played and fulfilled his role. It was time to set him free.
As I sat on the beach with the ocean in front of me, what presented in my mind’s eye were two versions of me aged approximately between five and seven years of age … there was the Sad Child and the Happy Child. They played together for a short spell and eventually Happy said goodbye to Sad and escorted him to the edge where the waves greeted the beach. It was time for Sad Child to go and I had to make a conscious choice as a start to let him go and to say goodbye.
Letting Go
Gosh, this was hard for me. Out of nowhere an unexpected flood of emotions poured out into me and here am sitting on the beach tears streaming down my face … geez, its my birthday … come on !! 😅
To my surprise, it was really hard for me to let go of Sad Child, it would appear that I’ve identified with this younger persona of me so much that he had become engrained into the core of me. It was like loosing a part of me, an old friend .. in reality it was indeed so … BUT … that part was holding me back with regards my next level of growth. At a deep subconscious level, that association of me, how I identified myself with and as the “Sad Child” had to be fizzled out, disbursed from within my neurological pathways and energy bodies.
The memories would stay, but these would now have to be integrated into and within Happy Child. Oddly though, I have always struggled to relate to Happy Child, probably no thanks to my own childhood perceptions of myself and my childhood conditioning. Even now I struggle with embracing, feeling fun and joy into my life, but I am learning. 🤗
Trusting Guidance
What I term the “Divine” guided me today, to do what I did to make the choices leading to alone time, to be reflective inwards, What today did for me was to lead me deeper in a sense of awareness of what I was holding on that no longer serves me, what to let go and what to now connect to in turn. I have grown to adhere to these little nudges, whims, voices and they almost never fail to deliver in some way or form .. naturally one has to trust first. 😀
My task henceforth was to learn to embody, resonate more with Happy Child. Now, it would seem that Sad Child did not necessarily go away completely … an aspect of it lingered / faded at the water’s edge in my mind’s eye, but that was still good enough, it was progress, I am guessing there will be more to this story as time unfolds.
Now, here’s the interesting observations … as I let go of Sad Child, thanked him and gave him permission to go, my body (sitting in a crossed leg position) started to spontaneously straighten up and it felt like my spine started to lengthen, I felt taller sitting down .. LOL ! 😅
The next message that came into me was, “Sad Child has no place in me anymore” and that I had to “embody Happy Child”. In my mind’s eye, Happy Child came into my body both from the front into my heart space and too from the back, merging into me … Wow !, that reinforced the physical reactions I had above even more.
Moving On – Healing
All in all it was a good birthday for me
Sad Child now started to fade into the water, and I started burping and yawning. This for me is an expression of an energetical clearing taking place. It happens within me when I work with clients as I clear energy within them and too for me when I do energetical work on myself. This was a good sign that something had shifted within / and or is in the process of so.
When I tapped again into the concept of Sad Child, I could no longer feel or connect to those emotions I had felt earlier, it seemed like a void, that space was empty. Now I will have to teach myself to connect with, nurture and allow Happy Child to grow and thrive within me. I’m not quite sure how I will, but I trust that guidance will present situations that will facilitate this process, naturally too, I will have to make certain conscious choices within me for this to bloom.
Physical healings – now, as I started my day in the morning and with my walk, my right shoulder, through to my neck had this kind of nagging, fatigue like feeling / pain. It was annoying, distracting and uncomfortable. However, as I began my walk back to my car and as I drove back home, I noticed that this was greatly reduced. But it’s still there, not gone completely. My guess is whatever that was released emotionally / energetically had something to do with me sporting the pain.
Will it go off completely ?, When will it happen ? …. Well I guess that’s still undetermined at this point. I hold a firm belief that the body is a barometer of our energetical bodies, spiritually, mentally and emotionally and too, that of our soul. When issues at these levels present and remain unresolved over time, they manifest themselves within the physical body. Its like our body signalling to us “Hey dude, something’s up”. Hence it helps to pay attention, to heed and go within to ask / seek, sometimes we may not get answers or nothing changes, but consider, ignoring the body in turn could result in worsening conditions.
All in all it was a good birthday for me …. Now anyone can do what I did today, in fact I’d highly encourage everyone to try this in some form or other, i.e. going within. Each can and eventually will develop their own style and as to what works for them, but more importantly, not to dictate the process, but allow you inner guidance to show you the way.
If you’ve come so far up to this point, I thank you for taking the time to read, I write this out not only as an expression of my own experience but too, in the event this helps someone on their journey as well. One of my “Why”, my reasons for being in this earth is to help make a difference in the lives of others and this gives me a sense of purpose plus a connection to something bigger than me.
If you have questions with regards your own journey and feel I could help, do drop me a line at info@inneralignment.com.au and we’ll take it from there. Thanks once again. 🙌
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